This phobia of losing someone you love is called thanatophobia. Thanatophobia is formed from the greek works thanto, which means death, and phobia, which means fear. Another meaning of thanatophobia is the fear of death, but it can also apply to the fear of losing someone you love
Losing a loved one causes fear, which is a common human emotion. But being overly concerned about losing someone you love might occasionally cause you to miss out on some of your best times and memories with them. No matter how unlikely it is that you will lose the person(s) you love, powerful and enduring feelings of terror can cause anxiety that never goes away.
These kinds of feelings are commonly present in new relationships, as well. New relationships are typically less safe than well-established ones, potentially leading to more intense doubts and fears about the relationship’s likelihood of longevity.
There are many reasons why people experience fear of losing someone they love, and those reasons aren’t always easy to identify clearly. There may be remnants from a past relationship that ended poorly, childhood experiences that make it difficult to trust others, fear of change, and more. Regardless of the reasons, there are ways to overcome your fear of losing someone you love and make space for a healthier, more fulfilling time together.
Acknowledge That You Are Afraid
The first step to overcoming the fear of losing a loved one is acknowledging that you have that fear. This may lead to exploring why you feel that way and observing the behaviors that may contribute, such as pushing people away or instigating arguments without sufficient cause. The ability to express your fear to yourself and your loved one is a step in the right direction toward overcoming it.
Adapt And Adjust To Your Emotions
Regardless of our goals, taking risks is often necessary to get what we want. Applying for a new job or trying out for sports, for example. New relationships are no exception. Usually, “playing things safely” and refraining from taking risks in a new relationship can contribute to difficulties and even negate the chance that the relationship will bloom.
One way to adapt is to take stock of how you currently cope with the fear. Do you try to control the relationship? Do you want it always to be perfect and avoid arguments even when they’re reasonable?
Loving relationships are often based on accepting the whole person, not just the “good” parts. A surface-level connection isn’t sufficient for a deep and lasting partnership; loving someone might mean taking risks and making yourself vulnerable.
Process Past Losses
Resolving negative feelings from past relationships is essential for giving your current relationship the attention it requires to be successful. It isn’t always easy, and recovering after you’ve been hurt often takes time and effort. When we don’t resolve our past relationships, the unhealthy patterns contributing to the problems are more likely to carry over to the current relationship.
If you are in a new relationship and notice old patterns, it’s best to be open to your partner about them. Explain where your fears are coming from and work together to overcome them. They may be able to help you through the process of acceptance for what happened in the past so you can move on with your current relationship.
Examine Your Conflicts
Fear of losing a loved one can often lead to disagreements between couples. When people are insecure and fearful, they often seek reasons to support that fear
Establish Open Communication With Your Partner
The above steps probably won’t be effective if you aren’t willing to communicate with your partner. Make it a priority to have honest conversations about your fears and insecurities. Explain how your past influences you and ask your partner to help you move forward. If they do certain things that add to your insecurity, let them know how their actions affect you.
Takeaway
The fear of losing a loved one is a common one. Many of us would like to keep our partners around forever, and the thought of breaking up or being separated in any way can be unpleasant. But if we don’t accept that it could happen and be willing to live with that, we start coping in ways that will harm our relationships. That’s why it is so vital that you recognize and then work to overcome your fear.
